Monthly Archives: August 2014

I auditioned for a MUSICAL and I KILLED IT!

Can I sing? HELL NO! but my renewed outlook on life went back to…fuck it! I can do anything that I want to!

Performing a Vday Monologue 2010, Artsquest, Bethlehem, PA

I did it like JAMES BROWN

I want to say “Thank You” from the bottom of my heart to Eleanor and Wil, Sharon, Paula and Dawn, for my day out on the boat. From Sharon driving to pick me up, to Dawn fixing my plate, to Eleanor serving tofu and grass feed beef, to Paula making me read poetry and think of Gwyn Michael.  Big thanks to Ryan Hulvat for being the REASON that I met each of the aforementioned people. I love you guys madly. (All my photography family)

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It’s hard to explain all of the ways in which that day was good for me, maybe even impossible. But, here’s an example: The following week I auditioned for a musical in Quakertown, PA. Can I sing? HELL NO! but my renewed outlook on life went back to…fuck it! I can do anything that I want to! I eagerly raised my hand to “sing” first and I did it like JAMES BROWN! I held nothing  back.  They paused and said…hmmmm:/ Can you read this script for us? Are you kidding me…I can read the hell out of anything you give me. Soooo, what are you saying…you don’t like my vocals:/??

I landed the only non musical part in the musical!! I KILLED it (LOL)

Point is: I’m now driving to Quakertown for rehearsal, meeting and engaging some really cool people. Feeling confident about what I have to offer and enjoying every ounce of it.

And last, but not least…thank you to Gwyn Michael R.I.P. for showing me how to live without the limits of others. My Warrior Sister! May you continue to look down on us, and smile 🙂

How have others motivated you to “get back out there”?

Do you have any suggestions for a person who finds themselves self-isolating, that would initiate change? Everyone always suggest volunteering in some way but, I want something different.

I find that if I have a reason to go…I am more likely to go. I’ve thought of starting a book-club at the local Cafe. What else would you suggest?

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I was in labor

I was in labor and totally in Estizer fashion, went to the airport to pick my parents up with an excitement that was impossible to contain! img063They were in the “labor suite” with Kevin and I when he crowned. Before, that I thought I would be bashful and want privacy. Everything changed as soon as I saw all that hair. I was SOOO excited, I wanted everybody in the hall to come and watch! My Mom grabbed my Dad’s hand and they promptly ran out of the room. My Mom was having labor pains each time the monitor said that I was. I felt nothing but joy and excitement!

 Today, 25 years after his entrance, he was my “date” to an MS luncheon at “Melt Grill” in Center Vally, PA. The lunch was sponsored by MS Lifeline which I have found to give wonderful support. Met very nice MSer’s and hope to keep in touch.MELTed I had the only “tall, dark, and handsome escort”…I couldn’t be happier.

COMMENTS: What’s your “labor story”?

Dad’s, if you’re reading this…don’t feel left out. What’s your story too.

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The Struggle

The Struggle

I struggle to get kids out of the house with some kinda breakfast, Eggo Waffles in the car, spelling quiz in the car, pull over to yell effectively about wrong words. Doesn’t everyone do this? Get to work, park my car on E. Not the car…me. At work, struggle to pee, no time for that, struggle to teach, to be patient, answer questions, give guidance, go to meetings. Stay awake in them, have fire drills. Struggle to get kids to soccer, tennis, and gymnastics. Take sitter to play with one while the other is in activity. I drink coffee and wait. Struggle to get home, struggle to get family feed, struggle to do homework. Struggle to read stories, fall asleep while reading Harry Potter…again, struggle to grade papers, keep up, Hubby does my report for work, struggling with cog fog, can’t concentrate, struggle to create a test…couldn’t. Struggle to be patient, struggle to be a loving mom, struggle to want sex, sticky notes on bathroom mirror, reminders, HAVE SEX, MORE SEX, ANY SEX, SEX IS GOOD, grade papers 6:00a.m. on SUN. morning at Cracker Barrel, grade and plan from til 12, at noon “Mommy, Mommy!” music to my ears, I miss my family, husband struggles alone with two kids. Try to grade papers, after school; tennis club, drink LOTS of vending machine coffee, after school soccer stay in car to grade papers, instant sleep. Sat. grade papers, pass out, struggle to get to ballet with Avonex side effects, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Celebrex (found to be unsafe, taken off market). Struggle to meditate so that I could struggle more. Struggle to not kill anybody, struggle to stay married, struggle to have date-nights, struggle to get sitter, Chinese food and movie from blockbuster.

I had to stop struggling so I, quit.

HELP! I need your feedback more than ever. I am writing in preparation to speak to groups WITH and WITHOUT MS. Groups that are struggling for one reason or another. To make my presence as meaningful as possible, please tell me if you can relate to “The Struggle” in ANY way and if so how?

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