I auditioned for a MUSICAL and I KILLED IT!

Can I sing? HELL NO! but my renewed outlook on life went back to…fuck it! I can do anything that I want to!

Performing a Vday Monologue 2010, Artsquest, Bethlehem, PA

I did it like JAMES BROWN

I want to say “Thank You” from the bottom of my heart to Eleanor and Wil, Sharon, Paula and Dawn, for my day out on the boat. From Sharon driving to pick me up, to Dawn fixing my plate, to Eleanor serving tofu and grass feed beef, to Paula making me read poetry and think of Gwyn Michael.  Big thanks to Ryan Hulvat for being the REASON that I met each of the aforementioned people. I love you guys madly. (All my photography family)

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It’s hard to explain all of the ways in which that day was good for me, maybe even impossible. But, here’s an example: The following week I auditioned for a musical in Quakertown, PA. Can I sing? HELL NO! but my renewed outlook on life went back to…fuck it! I can do anything that I want to! I eagerly raised my hand to “sing” first and I did it like JAMES BROWN! I held nothing  back.  They paused and said…hmmmm:/ Can you read this script for us? Are you kidding me…I can read the hell out of anything you give me. Soooo, what are you saying…you don’t like my vocals:/??

I landed the only non musical part in the musical!! I KILLED it (LOL)

Point is: I’m now driving to Quakertown for rehearsal, meeting and engaging some really cool people. Feeling confident about what I have to offer and enjoying every ounce of it.

And last, but not least…thank you to Gwyn Michael R.I.P. for showing me how to live without the limits of others. My Warrior Sister! May you continue to look down on us, and smile 🙂

How have others motivated you to “get back out there”?

Do you have any suggestions for a person who finds themselves self-isolating, that would initiate change? Everyone always suggest volunteering in some way but, I want something different.

I find that if I have a reason to go…I am more likely to go. I’ve thought of starting a book-club at the local Cafe. What else would you suggest?


Filed under Riding Out a Relapse, Uncategorized

10 responses to “I auditioned for a MUSICAL and I KILLED IT!

  1. Kenny lil brother smith

    And a star is born……


  2. Absolutely! I am definitely a star in my own mind (LOL) It’s still a lot of fun 🙂


  3. Your essence is warrior,why do you think Alabama photo show happened…living fearlessly. You have had it all along,you just needed a breather.


  4. Nancy Sharts-Hopko

    That is awesome!!!


  5. Olivia

    Awesome!!! I love cooking and I signed up to be a kitchen assistant in a cooking school. There are aspects I love, and aspects I don’t. I’m also thinking about a creative writing program and a writing group. I too, am not fond of volunteering. I need consistency and not a short term fix. I also need to figure out what I love. That’s more difficult than I anticipated.


  6. Karen

    You always inspire me. I am in a place where I too need a reason to go.


  7. I know EXactly how you feel. That’s how I felt when we moved here. It was great but, you realize that you’ve been ripped out of your support base. Like if you were a plant, taken out of it’s pot.
    The first thing is to exercise! It is critical, and not in your home. Join something, somewhere and get out. I went to the YWCA. It was more reasonable. Also check community centers. Not option-able.
    Start a book club! I guess I’m into that right now. The ones I’ve been in, in the past were great.
    Learn something new. This is when I picked up a camers FOR REAL. Can’t do that right now so I picked up knitting. That doesn’t get you out like…hiking, but I called a friend to meet me at the cafe’ and teach me. We met just once, but I’ve heard of knitting groups or clubs.
    I said last year that I wanted to line dance. I called a couple of numbers I found on the internet. No return calls. Could be that I called the numbers that had “free” lessons :/ Not too surprised.
    This year…POLE dancing! Kevin said, “Honey, don’t you think you should be able to WALK across the room straight before you Pole dance?” I said, what difference does that make? The pole is stable! I don’t have to be (lol)
    Okay Karen, you’ve got til, hmmmm, tomorrow to get back to me with 3 ideas/possibilities,


  8. Olivia I am sooo glad you are thinking about writing (um…cooking class didn’t go so well for me LOL).
    My new passion is, Spoken Word. You know I love to write and I love to deliver. Now I’m just going to venture into combining them. I’ve always delivered what someone else wrote, i.e. the Vagina Monologues, but now it will be my own.I’m so excited. I’m about to do my first piece:D Well, soon anyway. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes.
    What you love can be evasive as long as you look for it. Don’t look for it…listen for it instead. You just haven’t heard it yet. Too much noise. Meditation for me, quiets things down so that I can “hear” what’s inside.


  9. You are absolutely correct. For the Alabama project I was fearless. TOTALLY! I think back at times and get goosebumps with the remembrance of some of those moments…and places. I think all fear was blinded by passion.


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