Tag Archives: Heart Attack

MS: “Denial or Determination?”

I’ve shrouded myself in denial since I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1994.denial You know: I can do blah, blah, blah, because I’m really not that sick, and when that didn’t work, sheer determination was used. And I know I am not alone. So how are we MSers to know when this approach of denial or determination no longer works for us? Confession: my brain told me early on that this new job of school bus driver would be too much, but my heart said, “No”. My heart said, “Keep going, look at all of the ways that its been good for you. Everything will be fine. Give it more time, and whatever you do…don’t quit.” Well, at the end of the day, my brain won. My heart was a punk and simply gave in…literally.

Due to my heart “thing,” Takotsubo, described in my (click here) last post…I had to make the decision to resign from my new “almost job” effective immediately. I say “almost” because I was still in the training phase and was JUST about to move on. THEN, I would have been a school bus driver. Truth is, my Takotsubo was a gift. It took the decision regarding whether I could handle this level of stress out of my hands. I’d worked for the last 5 months changing every aspect of my life so that I could re-enter the work force. This, evidently, was not the best portal.

Listening to our bodies is the answer to the first question asked: How are we to know when the strategy of denial/determination is no longer working for us? If you’re not paying attention, or if you don’t trust yourself and your feelings, then maybe your body will yell at you like mine did.

It’s time to get back out there with a new sense of determination. determinationI’ve learned that not giving up means not settling for one or the other. It’s whatever works best at the time. As long as I’m listening to my body, I don’t ever have to decide.

COMMENTS: Have you found yourself reaching a goal due to either of these strategies? Have you found yourself attempting to reach a goal and ultimately having to give up? Did you start with something new? How did you do that?

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MS: Hug, Heart Attack, or NEITHER!

You heard me. Neither! I went blazing into the emergency room and it was neither.

WTH is Takotsubo. Commonly called Broken heart syndrome?

I’ll tell you, it’s something that feels, looks, and sounds like your neighborhood HEART ATTACK.  Which is by definition: blockage in the hearts arteries. Well, like I said on the table…I’m not having a HEART ATTACK! I’m a Vegan! OK, I’m sure there might be a Vegan somewhere in the world that has had a heart attack, but I’m not the one. Let me remind you…I have MS and that is WHY I’m a Vegan. Not that I think my dietary choices will cure MS. I make those choices to put myself in the best possible position of good health, if anything else arises. There will be no clogged arteries, obesity, heart disease, diabetes, etc. So when Mr. Nurse kept barking heart attack…I KNEW HE WAS WRONG!

There was however, the little problem of my lower left ventricle not pumping properly, like there was something blocking it, but there was nothing there. Hell at this rate, I coulda had the cheesecake after all!

MS Hug is a symptom of MS. It presents as much like a heart attack, as the real thing, chest pain and all. The pain can extend around one side or the other, or completely “hugging” the torso. I’ve had this to happen a few times over a three week period, off and on (click here to read that post). The very first time, I sat in my car in a sweaty, breathless, panic. I told myself to relax and that this was NOT a heart attack, it was that “Hug” thing I had heard about. In hindsight…that was a dumb move. What if it had been a heart attack? I told myself that the next time it happened I would go to the emergency room just to be safe. Glad I did.

Now let’s talk Takotsubo. This condition has only been recognized for the past five years. It is stress induced and 90% of all cases are postmenopausal women. Menopause reduces a womans estrogen and estrogen is known toplay a part in protecting the heart. These women now become particularly vulnerable.

There you have it. I experienced Tako…you-know syndrome.

I started asking around. Three women that I know have experienced this and they had no name for it. My general practitioner admitted that she had to look it up. She had never heard of it either.

That’s me…a real Trail-Blazer!

thaufire

Links  to information you may find helpful…I did!

Mayo Clinic-Heart disease in women: Understand disease and symptoms

Mayo Clinic-Hormone replacement therapy and your heart

Comments: Do you know of any women who may have experienced Takotsubo?

Have you experienced an MS Hug? Tell me about it.

 

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MS hug or HEART ATTACK!

MS Hug or Heart Attack?

1:30 Home for lunch,  going back to work.

1:31 Heart pounding, chest pain

unnheart2

Ultrasound of my heart.

1:35 Left arm and hand hurt, radiating pain left from middle of back.

1:36 Pain increasing, using right hand to support left hand for relief.

1:36 Thought …WOW this hurts a lot. I’m okay, relax, take deep breathes. Back to work. Simple afternoon planned. Go.

1:50 Leave for work.

1:54 Nauseous, driving. Pull over. Pain sky rockets, call husband. I’ll be home, take me to the emergency room please.

2:06 Emergency room. Wheelchair.

2:08 E.R. check in, Husband gives insurance information and symptoms, parks car.

2:11 Toddler staring at me from Dads arms. My pain must look very scary to her. I force a smile.

2:12 Enters Rapid Response team. They whisk me away

I HEAR:EKG

I THINK:EKG not invasive. Sticky things on chest. No pain. Pain now …waaay over the top.

I HEAR:Heart Attack, Morphine, Nitroglycerin

I HEAR: Have you had any aspirin today? Swallow these.

I FEEL: Shirt coming off, sticky things going on.

I HEAR: Heart Attack.

I SEE: Husband listening to nurse.

I SAY: What do you mean HEART ATTACK? I’m not having a HEART ATTACK! Honey…this hurts.
I HEAR: You’ll feel better soon, morphine, nitroglycerine, Heart Attack.

I SAY: I can’t be having a heart attack, I’m a VEGAN!

I SEE: Mans unfriendly face close to mine with paper in hand.

I HEAR: SEE THIS! This says, in all ways, you’re a VEGAN having a HEART ATTACK!

I THINK: Screw you.

I SEE: Friendly face very close to mine saying, don’t worry, you’re going to see LOTS of people in the room doing LOTS of different things. It’s okay, just relax.

60 seconds later my clothes evaporate.

I THINK: WTH!

I SEE: My jeans moving toward my feet. No snaps, no buckles, nothing.

I THINK: OMG! But wait…my panties?! What if my period is on?

I SEE: Panties floating away, still inside jeans. No period. Thank you GEEZUS! Hello menopause.

I HEAR: Arteries blocked/ look inside/ heart working? Heart attack

I SAY: How?

I HEAR: Catheter/ groin/ artery/ heart/ look.

I THINK: Chest/sternum/ not cracked open /okay.

I SEE: New face, friendly, close to mine.

I HEAR: I’m Scott. I’ll be your bartender for the rest of the day.

I THINK: Morphine. Smile.

I SEE: I’m covered with a sheet.

I FEEL: Levitated.

I SEE: My toes, my husband, Scott, random people in hallway.

I SAY: My toes are really pretty. Honey, I need a toe ring.

I HEAR: Nothing.

I Feel: No pain.

heart. cathetermed

Can you see the catheter in my heart? The hook. Look closer. AWESOME

MS HUG or HEART ATTACK

Comments:

Have you ever experienced either?

What do YOU think it was?

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