Tag Archives: Parenting

The Struggle

The Struggle

I struggle to get kids out of the house with some kinda breakfast, Eggo Waffles in the car, spelling quiz in the car, pull over to yell effectively about wrong words. Doesn’t everyone do this? Get to work, park my car on E. Not the car…me. At work, struggle to pee, no time for that, struggle to teach, to be patient, answer questions, give guidance, go to meetings. Stay awake in them, have fire drills. Struggle to get kids to soccer, tennis, and gymnastics. Take sitter to play with one while the other is in activity. I drink coffee and wait. Struggle to get home, struggle to get family feed, struggle to do homework. Struggle to read stories, fall asleep while reading Harry Potter…again, struggle to grade papers, keep up, Hubby does my report for work, struggling with cog fog, can’t concentrate, struggle to create a test…couldn’t. Struggle to be patient, struggle to be a loving mom, struggle to want sex, sticky notes on bathroom mirror, reminders, HAVE SEX, MORE SEX, ANY SEX, SEX IS GOOD, grade papers 6:00a.m. on SUN. morning at Cracker Barrel, grade and plan from til 12, at noon “Mommy, Mommy!” music to my ears, I miss my family, husband struggles alone with two kids. Try to grade papers, after school; tennis club, drink LOTS of vending machine coffee, after school soccer stay in car to grade papers, instant sleep. Sat. grade papers, pass out, struggle to get to ballet with Avonex side effects, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Celebrex (found to be unsafe, taken off market). Struggle to meditate so that I could struggle more. Struggle to not kill anybody, struggle to stay married, struggle to have date-nights, struggle to get sitter, Chinese food and movie from blockbuster.

I had to stop struggling so I, quit.

HELP! I need your feedback more than ever. I am writing in preparation to speak to groups WITH and WITHOUT MS. Groups that are struggling for one reason or another. To make my presence as meaningful as possible, please tell me if you can relate to “The Struggle” in ANY way and if so how?

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The Day After Mother’s Day

I was in the beauty shop today and making small talk with the woman sitting next to me. I asked “do you have children?”

First Christmas as a new Mom, Ho, Ho, Ho.

First Christmas as a new Mom, Ho, Ho, Ho.

Instantly her demeanor changed. She became sad and said, “ no”. When I saw this I perked up and gave her an excited “GOOD for YOU! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day!” She seemed shocked by my reaction but then gave me a timid smile, kinda like laughing at a joke you’re not sure is meant to be funny. I went on to say, “OMG my life would be so much different if I had done that. More money, more vacations, more freedom, more FUN! Personally I think it’s a dirty trick played on us by society. Everybody makes it look soooo easy, adorable and wonderful. We’re like those lemmings that blindly follow the leader right off the cliff. I blame Angelina and Brad more than most. There’s this thing in us that makes us automatically do it, and feel sad if we don’t, and nobody tells the truth. You don’t know the truth til you’ve got’em and then you’ve got to continue playing the game or you seem like an awful parent, and who wants that!

If you’re reading this, you’re already my Facebook friend and you know what kind of parent I am. Imperfect, and if you DON’T know that, then you drank the kool-aid. Nobody is perfect, especially a parent, or even… good at it. We all just do the best we can at the moment, to always think that we’re doing it wrong.

So don’t be sad my sisters, and for god sake, don’t think you’re missing something. If you do, come to my house. Bring a bag because you’ll need to stay a couple of days (or weeks) to really get a feel for it. Stay til you get tired and don’t feel like doing it anymore and they’re still here. Stay til they get tired of YOU. Stay til they get pneumonia. Stay til they stay out all night. Stay til they bring that girl (or guy ) home with the tattoos up the ying yang. Stay til they get tattooed up the ying yang. Stay til they announce that you make EVERYthing worse! Stay til they fall in love.

Oh, and don’t leave now. It’s just getting good. Now… stay and fix it all.

Okay. You have your journey and I have mine. Neither one is more or less meaningful because of kids, so stop wishing secretly that you had my life. I need for you NOT to. You bring balance to my world I live thru you vicariously. You are my Condoleezza Rice and my Olivia Pope. You are my Robin Roberts and my Oprah. You are my Helen Mirren, my Cameron Diaz and my Johne’Parker.

Oh, and are people disrespectful enough to ask you …why? You must promise me that you’ll have ONE answer…drop dead!

P.S.Lemmings jumping off of a cliff is as much a myth as perfect parenting.

I just thought I’d share this tonight.

Comments welcome:

Do you have children? If you do, is parenting what you expected it to be? If not, how is it different?

 

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Defined by Love…not Disability

I’ve seen a blind woman, here where I live, with her young teenage daughter. This particular day, they were getting off of a public bus. The mother got off first, into a crowd of people waiting to get on. Before I saw her…I saw her red tipped walking stick. When they got off the bus, I was staring. Her daughter made immediate eye contact with me. I have never felt so shamed by a child’s “look”. I wanted to make my way over to her and explain; my stare was one of admiration! She reminded me of my own daughter, and how she helps me.

To listen to their story on NPR Storycorp, click the link below:

http://www.npr.org/2013/02/08/171382156/a-life-defined-not-by-disability-but-love

brownstory

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